it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
