If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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