My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My liver is preforming stress tests.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
