What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
