Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so let's talk penis.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So much rum. So many feels.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
