Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
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