update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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