Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize