dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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