did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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