is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
