omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
