Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize