I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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