ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
is wine microwaveable?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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