Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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