I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
