you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
