I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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