You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize