4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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