I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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