Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I am naked and annoyed.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize