Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
