That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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