You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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