Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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