I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
