please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
