I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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