why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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