two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize