I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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