Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You are a genius and a whore.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
