I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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