Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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