Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
