i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
