i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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