Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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