All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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