just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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