im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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