Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
