Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If I die, sorry about rent.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
