i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
