nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize