O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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