How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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