please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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