you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
