why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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