you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
