Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
