sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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