I heard we made out
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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