I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
