But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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